It is said that it takes a master craftsman 2 weeks to etch and polish this baby to a high shine. From what I have read the boys at Moto modeled the phone after Swiss designed luxury watches. The round screen is definitely innovative and very sleek and the first on a celly that I can find. The screen has 16 million colors (I didn’t know there were that many) 300 dpi res and an icon based menu. The swivel action on the phone has 130 tiny ball bearings to ensure a nice smooth, sturdy open and close every time.

That’s about all of the good I have found, here’s what sucks; this phone is like Doc Browns nuclear bomb, a shiny case full of old pinball machine parts. The OEM software and features are less than standard in today’s market; 2-mega-pixel camera, music player, blue-tooth comp, messaging, speakerphone, an open source browser and Moto’s CrystalTalk…that’s it. And at 5 ounces you are sure to be using this baby as a door stop before long.

All said this little shiny rock is not worth the $2,000 price tag except for those dumb enough to afford it just to make calls with. I mean come on, who uses a cell phone to make calls anymore? This is designed strictly as a high end phone but in today’s market everyone, I mean everyone is looking for a deal, and this isn’t it. They should have made it pink and added a lipstick holder, dropped the price and they would have a simplistic phone they could market to Britney wannabes.

Still no tech specs available for the on board memory, flash or processor but just by what I have read, this is not the phone for tech savvy people on a budget. Now if it had a built in sword, I would be waiting in line. My advice; SKIP IT.

The featured program in this article is not exactly new but definitely deserves some attention based on the latest update for it. We BB users all know that feeling when we see our LED indicator turn from green to red. We get excited not knowing if it is our email, IM, SMS, MMS, BB messenger or selected online messenger going off telling us that we have a new message to review. Most of the time we try to fight the temptation to bring up the “switch application” menu to stop what we are doing and go see who it is. Well this program from Orion North America elimates the need for that with a simplistic pop-up on the home screen telling you who the sender is, the subject line and the first sentence of the message.

When the pop-up comes up it not only gives you this seemingly priceless info but it also gives you some simple options such as “go to inbox” which automatically saves your current work and brings you to the inbox, Close, to automatically close the pop-up window or “trash” to simply send the new message to the garbage pail without ever opening it. With this innovative program you can not only see in advance who is sending you a message but also manage your incoming emails as they arrive.

The program is fully customizable from how the pop-up fades to black and white lists. You can program if you want the notification to pop-up when you are in certain programs, or not if you are in others. And if you have pics attached to your contacts it will be displayed in the email notification window, pretty sweet.

If you like the Outlook email notification then you are going to love this program. This nifty little app is applicable to almost all BB’s, from the 8100 all the way up to the Storm but I warn now, if you are running an older OS then you WILL have difficulties. Technically the app is only compatible with the OS version 4.5 and up but I have seen it on older versions. This is a must have for any BB and at $10.00 with lifetime upgrade it is a real value.

If you are like me you have way too many icons on your home screen. I constantly have to scroll around, up and down, left to right to find my apps. With this program I can add up to 18 icons on the bottom dock. The only drawback so far is there doesn’t seem to be a way to customize the icons on the left side dock. That pisses me off a little. The standard four on the left seem to be preset with messages, calender, call log and browser. I can surely find something better for the left dock than the freaking calendar. But another cool feature is while scrolling over the “messages” icon on the left dock your new, unread messages appear right on the face screen.

I think the promoters were a little to liberal with the words “fully customizable”. Although a small shortcoming, for us chronic crackberrie users it continues to be nagging drawback. One other small detail (just because I am anal about my BB) when hitting the escape key to bring up the face dock there is a few seconds of delay even with the fast processor in the Bold.

Despite these little nuances at a price of $6.00 you can hardly argue that this app is a necessity. The download is quick and small (only about 20k) and once installed you follow the normal steps to initiate the theme. To organize the bottom dock from left to right you simply move your home screen icons in order of the desired appearance on the face dock.

As cool as this theme is you Curve, Pearl, Storm and any older BB model owners will have to wait because right now this theme is a Bold exclusive. The requirement is based on the 4.6 OS so if you users haven’t downloaded the last update then you had better get a move on.

The first issue was the BT not connecting to the headset on power-up and not being able to receive data files. After a lot of tinkering and searching I have come up with a solution for both problems all in one. This is a very technical solution so try to keep up because one misstep could render your phone useless.

First power down the phone, Next, remove the battery cover. Now remove the battery and wait 10 seconds. Reinsert the battery and replace the battery cover. Now power up your phone and test.

That’s right boys and girls, I found a simple battery pull solved both problems, pretty fucking lame but does the trick.

One other problem was the IM application. I found that Yahoo still does not function on most phones but RIM is working on that and has even reconfigured  and has has free downloads available for MSN live on their mobile site. I installed it last night and it works like a charm.

I am still working out the streaming video bugs but as far as some sites, switching your browser to Media-Net instead of using Firefox or IE helped solve the issue, especially if you are surfing via WIFI hot spots. Check back for more updates and feel free to drop helpful tips, tricks and work-arounds.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Personally this is something that I have been waiting for some time to be introduced, not just for the iPhone but for any application.  Imagine the possibilities to be able to say whatever you want rather than having to type it out?

But yes, at the end of the day, today’s technology sucks cock. Everyone has used those ridiculously frustrating automated “voice recognition” phone systems that generally never give you the results you are looking for and I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have attempted to circumnavigate the automated voice system to try to get someone “alive” only to have my banana yanked:

*Hello, and thank you for calling America’s premiere gay hot-line . Satisfied customers are of our utmost concern  and we want to please you today! Please state your account number and our automated system will bring up your account. or say “customer service representative” to speak to one of our 24 hour on call representatives.”

“Uh yes, my account number is ***-****-***.  I really only want to speak with a Customer Service representative, please”,

*Thank you Grumms and welcome back. Please say one of the following options: make a payment, check your balance, check latest activity, reorder your double headed peppermint-infused dolphin shaped dildo, or say “speak to a customer service representative” to speak to one of our friendly on call customer service specialists.  Or press 4 for all other inquiries.  Press # to repeat these options*

“Ok.  Uh, customer service representative please”

*Thank you for your patience.  Please Repeat Your Account Number followed by the # sign or say customer service representative to speak to one of our 24 hour on call service representatives*

“CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE“,

*I did not recognize your last message.  Please restate or hit 7 to repeat this message*

“CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE“

*I’m sorry I did not catch that.  Please say again*

“GOD DAMN FUCKING CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE!!!  YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS!!  I’LL FUCK YOU ALL IN YOUR GOD DAMN ASSHOLES!!”

*Goodbye*

Anyways…apparently Google has perfected this system so that it’s easy for anyone to use.  Not only will it attempt to determine the correct word you are trying to find by attempting to locate like words that are grouped together to give you the most accurate search results (using some ridiculous mathematical algorithms and formulas that only Google’s crack team of engineers and excessive masturbaters can decipher. oh wait…I’m also an excessive masturbater…never mind) but it is also GPS specific so that if you just say “movies” it will look for movies in the specific area that you and your phone are currently at.  Pretty freakin cool.

Here is some engineer dude from Google, Mike Lebeau showing just how easy the system can be.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Looks like a pretty awesome download.  Hope it eventually makes it to my Motorola DynaTAC.  I paid $3,500 bucks for this goofy piece of shit back in the 80′s and I’m not giving it up.

It does look like though, there is one flaw to the application. Where they added and included all of the countless number of American dialects and accents, including Palin-American and San Franciscan (thanks to Mike Lebeau) so that they would be recognized by the phone, they forgot to set it up so that it also recognized British accents…

Click here to view the embedded video.

God damn, not even the worlds greatest scientists can decipher this shit.  Forget it…the application is perfect.

Well don’t you worry because from now until Dec 24th, I’m going to be giving my recommendations for the HAUTEST gifts you can buy for your loved ones in your life…

…uh one sec folks…got someone whispering in my ear…

Well now I’m a little embarrassed.  Apparently, someone thinks that no one wants to see a picture I took last year of Hellfire watching “One Fell Into the Poo Poo’s Nest” eating popcorn.  Fine, I actually think it’s a pretty good pic.

Here is something more my speed…

Hell yeah!  And here is the front shot…

Gorilla Daddy like…

All right enough of that…the real reason I am coming to you is to share this product that I have owned for the past year that as a traveling fool , has been the ultimate gadget that I can have sitting on a plane for four hours:  The i-LUV 1155 iPOD and DVD player.

It has an 8.4″ viewable screen, (16:9 aspect ratio), comes with a remote control (which I have already lost), AC adapter, and AV video cable, a charge battery life of about 3 hours (longer than my 60 gig iPOD), you can not only play your iPOD in it but also a DVD switching back and forth between the two at the touch of a button (I never take my iPOD out), and probably the coolest thing about it is that it has a stand on the back that fits PERFECTLY on those little airline fold down tables that are attached to the seat in front of you.  So many times, have I looked over at other guys sitting in the middle seat, with their laptops covering the entire table, only to have the guy in front of them recline their chair and slam their lap top closed.

Not only that but where those same guys have to put their laptops away when the food arrives, I can still eat, watch a movie or listen to my music with no issues at all.  This by far is one of the best dual use (iPOD and DVD) products on the market and at a $269 price on i-luv.com, it’s worth it.

Or you can hit www.amazon.com for $80 bucks less.

The only issues that I have had with it are when you are playing music, there is an annoyingly blue screen that is constantly on and cannot be dimmed (sucks on night flights), the little locking mechanism that locks the stand in place has already broke (I travel a lot), and it does not come with a carrying or protective case (so you might as well fork over the $10 bucks to get it.

Still very much worth every cent.

First, the juicy tech stuff: WIFI integration, 1 gig of on board memory (expandable up to 16GB), 2 mega-pixel camera, 642MHz processor…and bunch of other cool shit. You can read the tech spec’s anywhere so i will tell you the draw backs I have encountered.

The first is setup time, although much quicker than the IPhone, this BB lacks the simple setup qualities of the Curve. The next item is something I cringe at, being an on-the-go person and needing to communicate in various modes it disappoints me to see that RIM still does not offer any IM labels on their phones. A lot of new phones on the market are coming standard with integrated instant messaging software built in. RIM still has yet to let go of their BB Messenger, which only works between BB’s and the people with BB packages on their contract. So to defeat this obstacle one must resort to downloading a stand alone program to accommodate their needs.

The last item for this post is the Bluetooth technology. When the word Bluetooth (from here I will say BT because I refuse to spell it out) is thrown around most people respond by saying they don’t like headsets. That is because they are stupid. Most of them don’t understand the data transfer capabilities of this ingenious program. I enjoy not having to tether my BB to my desktop and opening an application loader, media manager (Roxio sucks and is a memory hog) etc just to dump a few pics or songs onto my phone.

That being said I use my BT a lot so I found out quickly that this phone is still a little buggy in that department. I setup my JawBone earpiece right away (yes I love my earpiece) and it worked flawlessly…for a week. Normally with my Curve and now this phone the earpiece would connect automatically at power up, but not anymore. Now I have to enter the BT setup window and connect manually, and I am way to lazy to do that every time. I have checked all of the settings and properties but found no answer yet. The other problem is receiving files via BT. No problems sending, and the phone will sync with other devices, but it will not accept incoming data, very weird. I have tried all of the old tricks; going to the file location I want to save in, clicking on “receive using BT”, standing under a light pole with a tin foil hat on and NOTHING!!

Drops some comments if you have the same issues or have (PLEASE GOD) found some remedies, all of your BB brethren will appreciate it. Stay tuned for more ups and downs (trust me, there will be more coming).

They will never get laid again.

Oh well, at least the launch was sweet…

After you watch this video, I guarantee if you don’t want to rip off your neighbors arms and beat all people from the West Coast senselessly with them, you probably live on the West Coast. I’ve watched it three times and I am seriously considering moving back to Rwanda, finding my mother and gorilla-bitch slapping her for bringing me in this world.

This dolt had an accident sometime in the 80′s (probably stumbled onto a line of cocaine) and now last year she goes to a chiropractor (wtf?!?) and suddenly starts speaking like a Russian, PLUS is also speaking words from Russia, France, German, Swedish, and to top it all off gibberish shit that even retards would ask, “What the fuck did she say?”. That chiropractor should have spent more time on her neck Maury style…if you know what I mean

These people do not have “FAS”.  They are just fucking crazy!  That’s it.  Stupid scientists can’t figure out when someone is just a loon. If it looks like shit, smells like shit, tastes like shit…it’s probably shit.