There are a lot of things that I’m thankful for during the holidays: to not be on some jack ass poachers mantle forever looking through two big giant pieces of ivory while the cock sucker that killed me sips on cognac with his gay British pals laughing about how I beat my chest just before I charged him, I’m thankful that I am no longer in my homeland (the place that you humans call Rwanda) where today I would probably be eating fruits and leaves and those tiny little red berries that taste like shit because water is scarce and after a good session of crapping on my hand and throwing it around with my mates, I unfortunately would realize that I had to still eat with those hands,
I’m thankful for alcohol, gambling, hookers, super heroes (only the good ones…you know who you are), 80’s action movies, Zachary Quinto making out with a guy in a sauna, the Total War series (only because I like to watch small puny humans get hit by siege weapon shots…very cool, especially when they catch on fire), super villains, Moonraker, good music (Manuel Gottsching greatest guitarist ever!), Guatemalan boys, bounty hunters, Disney (yeah so I like that place…bite me), Star Wars, zombie movies, Michael Mann (especially the last scene in “Last of the Mohicans”), Italian food (it’s my vice and I’ve become a fat ass as a result…here’s to being a fat ass!), Star Wars conventions (but not the dopes that dress up at those conventions…although the guy in the Wampa costume in Los Angeles last year was pretty cool), the scene in the Transformers movie when the Autobots come to Earth…am I the only one that teared up during that scene??, my two large black furry balls (who needs a Playstation really?), and most of all I’m thankful for having family and friends that put up with all of my shit…(too bad they are stuck in the shit hole Rwanda while I get to eat turkey and pumpkin pie and stuffing today…suckers)
Oh yeah, “family”…almost forgot, I’m also thankful for the Family Guy. As you sit around and enjoy Thanksgiving Dinner today, sit back and enjoy one of my all time Family Guy favorites!
Oh and here is that Zachary Quinto shot…enjoy!