Does iPhones Google Voice Recognition Application Also Hate Limey?

Earlier this week Google announced that it would be including a voice recognition application to it’s iPhone that would allow users to speak search terms into the phone and then have the phone search engine spit out the results. It is a free down-loadable application that if popular may spread to other mobile phones.

Personally this is something that I have been waiting for some time to be introduced, not just for the iPhone but for any application.  Imagine the possibilities to be able to say whatever you want rather than having to type it out?

But yes, at the end of the day, today’s technology sucks cock. Everyone has used those ridiculously frustrating automated “voice recognition” phone systems that generally never give you the results you are looking for and I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have attempted to circumnavigate the automated voice system to try to get someone “alive” only to have my banana yanked:

*Hello, and thank you for calling America’s premiere gay hot-line . Satisfied customers are of our utmost concern  and we want to please you today! Please state your account number and our automated system will bring up your account. or say “customer service representative” to speak to one of our 24 hour on call representatives.”

“Uh yes, my account number is ***-****-***.  I really only want to speak with a Customer Service representative, please”,

*Thank you Grumms and welcome back. Please say one of the following options: make a payment, check your balance, check latest activity, reorder your double headed peppermint-infused dolphin shaped dildo, or say “speak to a customer service representative” to speak to one of our friendly on call customer service specialists.  Or press 4 for all other inquiries.  Press # to repeat these options*

“Ok.  Uh, customer service representative please”

*Thank you for your patience.  Please Repeat Your Account Number followed by the # sign or say customer service representative to speak to one of our 24 hour on call service representatives*


*I did not recognize your last message.  Please restate or hit 7 to repeat this message*


*I’m sorry I did not catch that.  Please say again*



Anyways…apparently Google has perfected this system so that it’s easy for anyone to use.  Not only will it attempt to determine the correct word you are trying to find by attempting to locate like words that are grouped together to give you the most accurate search results (using some ridiculous mathematical algorithms and formulas that only Google’s crack team of engineers and excessive masturbaters can decipher. oh wait…I’m also an excessive masturbater…never mind) but it is also GPS specific so that if you just say “movies” it will look for movies in the specific area that you and your phone are currently at.  Pretty freakin cool.

Here is some engineer dude from Google, Mike Lebeau showing just how easy the system can be.


Looks like a pretty awesome download.  Hope it eventually makes it to my Motorola DynaTAC.  I paid $3,500 bucks for this goofy piece of shit back in the 80’s and I’m not giving it up.

It does look like though, there is one flaw to the application. Where they added and included all of the countless number of American dialects and accents, including Palin-American and San Franciscan (thanks to Mike Lebeau) so that they would be recognized by the phone, they forgot to set it up so that it also recognized British accents…


God damn, not even the worlds greatest scientists can decipher this shit.  Forget it…the application is perfect.

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