…you know, to be honest, I still go to Best Buy…daily actually…it’s either Best Buy or Target or Toys R Us or Fry’s…but it’s definitely one of those stores…and at least daily. I don’t know why I go…most of the time I don’t need anything…I just go in and “window shop”. Ok sure…I buy some things once in awhile (all right you got me…a good portion of the time) but I can’t imagine that I need any of those things really (especially with what I buy…right? Games, Movies, TV Shows, Gadgets for my iPod, gadgets for my phone, gadgets for my PC, gadgets for my camera, gadgets for my car…damn…I guess I buy shit almost every time I go there! I’m seriously fucked up).
And there is a pattern. In Best Buy, I do the PS3 aisle, then the Wii aisle, then I go to the “recently released movie” section, then I hit the Horror, Sci Fi, Anime movie sections in that order, circling back to the TV series sections and then maybe browsing through the music area, before I end up gazing at all of the 1080p televisions that they have and dreaming for enough dough to get me one.
At Toys R Us, it’s usually straight to the main section that you hit when you walk into the store (you know, the one that the store is always pushing all of the crap that usually ties in with a big movie release…recently it’s been Star Wars Clone Wars), then I head right to the Star Wars, Transformers, GI Joe aisle, then I go right over to the Games section (as far as I’m concerned there is no other part of that store).
Target…same thing…movies, games, toys…then I kind of wander around aimlessly, just looking at shit…maybe circling back and hitting those previous areas 3 or 4 times…Oh, and Fry’s is roughly the equivalent of going to Disney World. If I go, I’m there all fucking day…no bull shit. I love that place.
And look…let’s be real…I know I’m not the only mother fucker that does this. When I go to these places I can see other guys, mid 30’s, that goofy glazed look on their faces, shambling around the stores, digging through the action figures…playing the demo Rock Band and John Madden for hours…staring and drooling at a specific toy, first looking at the front, then the back, then the front…endlessly.
Maybe it’s an addiction…or worse a disease…something got screwed up with our brains…maybe watching the last Star Wars Clone Wars movie (You know which part I’m talking about. I hate you George Lucas), caused some sort of mass psychosis that has resulted in our brains being rewired and doing stupid shit…or maybe, we were all separated at birth…and there is some sort of creepy underground gigantic vagina monster spitting out eggs that contain my brothers who all just happen to like Star Wars, and games, and cool shit…and the only way that we know about each other is this secretion unknowingly left behind by us when we walk (like ants returning to the colony) that make us go to OUR “food source”, Best Buy…or maybe we are being controlled by some alien race…yeah…they abducted us, probed our bodies, erased our brains…and now they are experimenting on us to see what we can and cannot do…and then when the time is right, they will unleash us on the unsuspecting governments of the world to overthrow them and prepare the world population for the alien invasion! Fuck yeah!
…or maybe…just maybe…we all just need to get laid…
Yeah…that’s probably it. Fuck.
Anyways, back on track, it was sometime at the end of 2007, as I was trolling the PS3 aisles in Best Buy that…I would continue to see this game with, what I thought was at the time, the worst game title I’ve ever seen in my entire life: Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune. Honestly it looked ridiculous. A goofy cookie cutter hero, some dumb skull on the front (SOP for every crappy adventure game…usually with a snake slithering through the eye…you know what I’m talking about), your requisite jungle scenery…you know, straight up garbage…it just looked like every other stupid ass adventure game.
So I never bought it…but I kept seeing it… And each time I went into Best Buy, I noticed that what once was an Uncharted section with maybe 15 games, was slowly dwindling down…while the other games around it, “Transformers: The Game” on one side and “Vampire Rain” on the other were not. Hmm…
Then one day, I walked into Best Buy (same thing as waking up taking a shit, brushing your teeth…my daily routine) and headed over to the PS3 aisle (yeah like I always do) and as sure as donkey shit, there was only one Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune left in the row. That was it…my last chance. “What the fuck was happening”, I thought. “Does somebody know something that I don’t? Does EVERYBODY else know something that I don’t??? Could this horribly marketed game actually be something better than what it appeared”
Well, because at the end of the day, I’m still at heart, an opportunist, and I can’t fucking stand when someone else goes “Hey Grumms…what? you haven’t played “such and such game” or “watched such and such movie”….dude you gotta do it…now…you are like the last mother fucker on the planet to “play this game” or “watch this show”…come on…come on…come on…come on”
….yeah so I went ahead and took the plunge and bought the damn game…it was only $60 bucks after all…right? not that much…was it? What the hell else was I gonna spend $60 bucks on anyways?
And you know something, after tossing the game in the PS3, and watching the opening cut scene…and after I started to play it…it actually, believe it or not…was not half bad. Think “modern day Indiana Jones”…with a Han Solo type character talking shit…lot’s of guns…and zombies!…yeah…totally fucking AWESOME! (technically the zombie thing is not true, but still some crazy along those lines shit in the game…you are gonna have to check it out for yourselves)
The graphics were great, the game play was a lot of fun, animations, especially of the main anti hero… Nathan Drake were so fluid and realistic (by far some of the best I had seen in any game), the lighting was incredible, and the story…by the time I had finished, was straight out of a Hollywood action flick (AND it was GOOD). It was one of the better stories in any game, movie, anything, I’ve ever had the enjoyment of experiencing.
Well to my surprise and amazement, as I was looking for porn in the youtube HD section (it’s all over really…do a search for “Hollowman” and Rhona Mitra. Your welcome), I found a video that revealed that none other than Nathan Drake is coming back for a sequel (yes!)…Uncharted: Among Thieves. Pretty bad ass.
Of all the games that are going to be released in 2009, I really cannot wait for this one. I have to admit, it’s probably at the top of my wish list. Check out the teaser trailers below and if you haven’t already, then go and rent the original game and check it out. You will not be disappointed. Oh and if you happen to be in Houston and just happen to see me at Best Buy, I’ll fucking kill you if you come up and say anything to me about anything you read above….