So we are into the new year now and still have the top half of our list to go. Even with the long wait I do not think we will disappoint with the remainder of our hot babes, especially with our next lovely lass who has steamed up the music scene, the silver screen and most of our wet dreams for years. From not knowing the difference between tuna and chicken to wearing a tube skirt to Home Depot she has been a gleaming ray of beautiful ignorance to all of those trailer park hunnies hoping to be a shinning star.
#5 JESSICA ANN SIMPSON
Born July 10, 1980 in Abilene, TX to a Baptist minister (who was also a psychologist, go figure) she began her singing career at her local church. Her early “career” was not easy, she unsuccessfully auditioned for the Mickey Mouse Club at age 12, then made her recording debut with a gospel album through Proclaim Records, which folded before the album could be released. She left high school at age 16 to join the Christian Music Circuit (don’t hate yourself, I didn’t know such a thing existed either) andlater earned her GED. She was signed by Columbia Records around 2000 after an executive heard one of her independent releases.
After being signed her life until now has been better than most. She married some guy named Nick in 2002 which lasted a few years. They had their very own show for for 2 years in which some of her blondest moments were broadcast for the world to enjoy. During this time she released her biggest album “In This Skin” which eventually went triple platinum.
She made her “serious” acting debut with the almost poronographic role of Daisy Duke in the 2005 remake of the hit show The Dukes of Hazzard. She did double duty on the film not only acting but recording the Nancy Sinatra hit “These Boots are Made for Walking” for the movie. Her second film was Employee of the Month in 2006 and seemed destined to become one of those pop-culture hits like Office Space or Rocky Horror, but no, it pretty much sucked. She now has gone back to her roots somewhat trying to break into the country music scene.
Nowadays she can be spotted at just about every Cowboys home game supporting her new man Tony Romo. She has been blamed for some of his worst game performances concluding that her voodoo punanny has screwed up his game. I believe you come full circle in life and she is no exception. She has ridden the fame roller coaster and it is now time to exit stage left.
She is still one of the finest woman on the earth and worth a hefty sum but only her unwillingness to do nudity has ranked hew this low. She still has her looks and her 2 assets to carry her on for a bit longer. I am hoping that she will resort to some nude photo shoots or low budget porn (which would bump her to #1 on this list) to keep her name in lights and I plan to visit her some day in the near future at the Bunny Ranch nd help her pay off her Nissan.