Inglorious Bastards. Will This be Quentin Tarantinos Best?

I was not gonna touch this movie till it came out, but my favorite brethren silverback just had to go and mention something about Seth Gecko (who absolutely has the coolest tattoo of all time) and it got my Tarantino juices flowing.

Mr. Tarantino is my favorite writer/director of all time.  NO JOKE!  There will never be another writer/director like him.  Tarantino has this tremendous gift of being able to make you sit in your seat watching two characters interact in conversation and you will be completely enthralled by what they are saying.  In the Bollywood world of special effects, explosions, stunts and priests raping little orphans, Tarantino can make you sit there and think to yourself “oh wow man that was some bad ass shit” and a special effect never happened, an explosion in THX 90.4 did not rip your face and ears off, there was nothing even close to action that needed a stunt double and the only person that would probably be getting anal penetration would be Marsellus Wallace.  Bring in the Gimp.  But the Gimp is Sleepin.  Well then I guess you better go wake em up!

When it comes to movies that I am really in to, I hate reading anything before they come out (I am talking spoilers here).  Grumms on the other hand will search day and night just to find out what color underwear Harry Potter will be wearing in his next movie.  He continues to find out that Harry Potter does not wear underwear.  Sorry my friend, but there is still hope for the next movie I guess.

As I was saying, this movie was going to remain a pristine virgin.  I did the same for Kill Bill (volumes I&II) as well as Grindhouse. I have been so overly stoked about this movie for so damn long that it has almost just become a god damn burden on me.  So last night I broke down.  I have had the script for Inglourious Basterds (no one knows for sure if Tarantino is fucking around or if this is actually how it is gonna be spelled) since it hit the net, but I locked it away to read after I saw the movie.  I have been under Tarantino withdrawals for quite some time.  I need new shit.  I need some compelling conversational rhetoric to subdue my mind into a Tarantino candy land.  Basically I am without.

So here I am reading over Grumms’s post and I start to get this urge to look into that folder where that script is just waiting for me to read it.

I did.

I read the whole damn script in just over an hour.

Just remember what Escorpion is telling you.  I have a really, really really, itchy ball sack.  Ha!  This script is Tarantino at his best.  I am not kidding.  I have read all of his scripts and this one BY FAR is the best.  I read the opening to the movie 5 times because it is so god damn good.  Just take your favorite dialog driven parts from Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction (lets see, mine would be the story Freddy makes up about the drugs in the bathroom (and the beautiful performance by Freddy and Larry at the end) and Jules giving his ENTIRE speech to Brad and the boys) multiply them by 100 and these are the INTENSE scenes that Basterds delivers.  The first time I read the opening scene, I had goosebumps.  It is that fucking good.  Now if he can transpire on film what he has on paper, this may be the movie that actually gives him a good shot at the little gold trophy to use as his toilet paper dispenser.

The script is just overwhelmingly good throughout.  I never felt a dull moment and Tarantino is clever as usual from bringing you back and forth through time to introduce, re-introduce, and re-live through his characters.  Just for shits and giggles here are the names of the 5 chapters in the movie:

Chapter 1:

Once Upon A Time…Nazi Occupied France

Chapter 2:

Inglorious Basterds

Chapter 3:

German Night In France

Chapter 4:

Operation Kino

Chapter 5:

Revenge Of The Giant Face

You have to be stoked about this movie.  Trust me when I tell you this.  I was really bummed out when I first heard that Tarantino’s usuals were dropping out like flies, but when I started seeing their replacements, I really started to get some hope once again that this could actually be a really good movie.  Now after reading the script and knowing who is playing each part in the movie-each person that was chosen is perfectly fitted for the character.

Brad Pitt.  Don’t fucking lie.  You either like the guy, are in love with the guy, or wish that you could be his penis for just one night.

Eli Roth.  One of Tarantino’s butt pals and a great grotesque horror creator.  Thanksgiving is one of his greatest works, and if you have never seen it I suggest you go and watch it as soon as you are done reading here.  Better yet, here it is…


Mike Myers.  Are you fucking serious?  Mike Myers in a serious role.  Can it be done?  His character is not funny in the movie so we will see.  I think he will knock our balls off with a serious performance.

As for spoiling the movie for you, I am not going to do it.  I just wanted you all to know that I finally broke down and read the script and it is just superfuckingfantabulous!  If Tarantino takes his meds, films, and edits this flick correctly, you will witness the best Tarantio movie EVER!

Mark my word.

Here are some stills from the movie.  Enjoy.

2 thoughts on “Inglorious Bastards. Will This be Quentin Tarantinos Best?

  1. I’m telling you, I seriously cannot wait for the next few Harry Potter films. I’m hooked. I will never read the novella 2,346 page dictionary’s that Rowling puts out, but the movies are I’m actually into. I watched the Order of the Phoenix on a plane from LA to Houston shortly after it came out and I was screaming, laughing and crying out loud throughout the entire film. Loved it.

    And after reading this I’m definitely going to read the script. Here are some of the rest of the cast to whet your pants appetite: BJ Novak from the show the Office (he is also one of the main writers and producers of the Office), Til Scheiger (who played Jack Carver in the video game to movie Far Cry that came out this year…oh and why didn’t you hear about it? Uwe Boll), Michael Fassbender (who played Stelios in the movie 300…you know, the famous line “Then we will fight in the shade”), Cloris Leachman (holy shit! side note: if she is nude in the film, I will boycott Tarantino movies forever), Julie Dreyfus (Sofie Fatale…Kill Bill), oh yeah and Samuel L Jackson as the “mother fucking” narrator.

    And a bunch of german and french actors…you know the fact that Tarantino has the balls to cast actors from Germany, France and wherever the character is from is enough for me. I’m sold.

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