Over the past week or so, more movie posters have been released for the upcoming (Jan 23rd) release of Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans and yes admittedly I have pretty much ignored them. Not a big fan of vampire movies…don’t really get all geeked out when the next one comes out. The genre just doesn’t do shit for me.
Despite these sentiments, I actually watched both of the first Underworld movies and I actually thought they were both pretty good. The story was second to none, the special effects were incredible, the acting was superb, the…what the fuck am I talking about…the ONLY reason why I watched the first two Underworld movies was because of Kate Beckinsale! For the love of all that is unholy and unpure…she looks like an ANGEL in these shots!
I honestly do not remember squat about anything else from the movie. Some kind of battle with werewolves and a bunch of super hot and sexy cast members walking around and looking super hot and sexy. I have no idea. Oh wait…was the guy from Loverboy in it? You know the werewolf guy?
Oh know! Holy shit…I just realized something. It’s all coming back to me now. Yeah, half werewolf half vampire…running around naked half of the movie…having sex with Kate…shit. Oh my god…I just realized something else…I may have also watched…Van Helsing…god damn! Gah! When is Hollywood just going to create a vampire movie with all females in it? Seriously…
Focus man…fucking focus! All right, so it’s because of Kate Beckinsale that I watched another movie that came out this past year, Doomsday (and I suppose the post apocalyptic setting helped also). All I could think of when I watched the trailer for this movie was, holy crap…the girl in the movie looks a hell of a lot like Kate Beckinsale. Didn’t really know her name at the time but here is her pic. HOT! Not quite Beckinsale but seriously does it really matter?
Movie actually is not that bad. Lot’s of room for improvement but the idea was pretty cool. I really hate the fact that the girl on girl samurai sword scene was so short (and sucked), but overall it’s a good Saturday morning hangover cure.
So, like I was saying, these Underworld movie posters have been hitting the net the past week or so and as I was looking through them I noticed this one:
It’s obvious that whoever this was, was not Kate, but she sure as fuck looked like her. So IMDBing I went and wouldn’t you know, it was Rhona Mitra, the girl from Doomsday, playing the adopted daughter of Kate Beckinsales father from the past (or however the hell the story goes. ok, yeah, so I’m like the last mother fucker on the planet to realize Rhona was in this movie…bite me.)
Anyways, I decided to go ahead and take one for the “zombie team” and watch the trailer and sure as vampire shit, the movie actually looks pretty good. Apparently it’s a prequel, set around medieval times, and it explores the werewolves rise from slavery to vampire equals, but the dads daughter (Rhona) wants to have sex with the werewolf leader messing up all kinds of stuff…specifically their love for each. A story only a Twilight fan would love. Whatever. The action and effects look good and so does Mitra so it’s definitely worth checking out.
Oh and I know this guy was in the first movie and after looking at the trailer, he’s in this one, but holy monkey shit he looks bad ass…
I have a bathroom in my house that unfortunately faces a mirror, so if the other bathrooms are taken, I have to use this one, which I really don’t like to do, because I sit down to both pee and shit and the last thing that I want to do is watch myself do either one. BUT, I have to tell you, there have been a couple of times that I have not munched down on the fiber and I’ve had a log stuck like a lawn dart half way in and half way out (if you know what I mean) and I swear that I have had this exact same look on my face trying to push it out. Seriously. And if I didn’t share with you, who the hell would I share with? Eat your fiber mother fuckers.